Sorrow
by makkomakorin
Summary: Life is not all about happiness. The painful feeling to see your beloved one together with someone else is unbearable. One-shot.


Ring Ring RING!

The alarm sound woke me up from my sleep. I lazily reach the alarm to put it off. Finally its silent. I blink repeatedly, trying to get rid of the sleepiness that still reside. The blazing sun from the window hurt my eyes as I try to get use to it. Honestly speaking I didn't get much sleep last night. I don't know at what time I fall asleep. What I know for sure its pretty late. I had been restless on my bed, turning left and right several times, trying to sleep. But the thought of what will happen today make its harder to fall asleep. I had been thinking all night long about what will happen today.

**_'Its today huh...' _**

Today is Sunday, I don't have to go to work since its holiday. Working as office lady is okay I guess since I only need to work on office hour. I'm still lazying around on my bed, being lazy. Honestly I really don't want to wake up in fact I prefer to stay in the dreamland, as its the only place I could achieve happiness, the happiness I desire. Real world is cruel to me. My mind then wandering around, remembering that certain someone. As I thought about her, I could feel tears flowing from my eyes. The tears is hot, flowing past my cheeks and fall onto my pillow, make it slightly wet. The pillow already had a few wet spot, since I already cry in my sleep last night but I guess it already dry this morning. And I make it soak again today. Doesn't really matter. At least, let me cry to the fullest and show my brightest smile when I'm in front of her. That's what I thought. I really really don't want her to see me crying.

**_'Maki-chan...' _**

I continue crying while thinking of her, letting out all of my sorrow.

After letting it out for a while, I finally felt slightly better. My pillow now is fully soak. Whatever. I will just wash it later. I slowly pull my head from the pillow, sitting on my bed, stretch a little bit. My feet try to reach my slipper that is on the side of the bed. I walk lazily towards the bathroom, pushing the door open, entering the bathroom and close the door back. I go to the sink. I raise my head, to look at the mirror. I could see my puffy eyes from the reflection. This is the result of crying last night and this morning. I turn on the faucet, the water flowing out and I wash my face with it. I open the bathroom sink cabinet, reaching the toothbrush and toothpaste. I brush my teeth and then I wash my face again. After I wipe my face with the towel, I walk out from the bathroom. I go to my cloth cabinet that are placed beside the bed, sliding the door to reveal its content. I flip around the set of clothes inside it, trying to choose the best outfit. I finally decided to go with gray short sleeveless dress. I slowly unbutton my pink pajamas, lazily undress myself to put on the dress. After I make some few adjustment on the dress, I'm finally good to go. I walk towards the makeup table, sitting on the chair and reaching up my makeup box. Usually I don't wear make up as my face is naturally good as it is even without make up. But today is an exception, I really need it to conceal my puffy eyes and also to show my best appearance for today. I wore my makeup lightly since I always feel its best to keep it as natural look as possible. After I'm done doing touch up on my eyes, I look at myself from the mirror.

**_ 'You have to smile Yazawa Nico, especially, in front of her. Show her that you are fine. Okay.. Nico Nico Ni~ '_**

I make my usual pose in front of the mirror, try to fake the smile to make it as natural as possible. I look at myself and judge myself.

**_'This is okay I guess..' _**

I sigh slowly and that's when I heard the bell ringing. I stand up and walk towards the door of the apartment. I don't even need to peep through the peephole as I already know who will be coming today.

_"Good morning Nico."_ The blonde woman greet me as I open the door.

_"Good morning Nicocchi."_ The low pigtail woman that are together with the blonde also greet me.

_"Good morning Eli, Nozomi." _I said as I open the door widely, inviting them to enter. As they enter I examine their outfit. Eli is wearing some floor-length chiffon gown with heels while Nozomi is wearing Arabelle long dress in silk chiffon with heels. They do dress up for the day I guess.

After I'm done closing the door, we walk to the living room. I sit on single sofa and both of my guest sit on the twin sofa. As they seated, Nozomi ask me, _"Have you eaten Nicocchi? You do look thin."_ I smile weakly to them. _"Nah. I'm not in the mood to eat."_

_"That's not good Nico. You need to eat something. I will make breakfast for you."_ Eli stood up from her seat and went to the kitchen to prepare something for me. I just let her do it, don't want to argue as I'm not in the mood for that.

Silence fill the living room for a moment. What could only be heard is some noise coming from the kitchen where Eli is now preparing the breakfast. After a while Nozomi broke the silence. _"Nicocchi.. Are you okay?"_

I try to look at Nozomi in the eyes, _"Nah. I'm fine. Really."_ I smile to her, try to make it sound cheerful but in front of my bestfriend I really can't fool them with that lousy act.

_"Nicocchi.. You can choose not to go you know." _

_"I-I can't do that. Honestly I really don't want to go. But.. Just imagining her sad face when she realize that I'm not present is already unbearable for me." _I try to hold my tears from falling down. Again.

As I try to hold my tears from falling, I could feel Nozomi hugging me, like a mother hugging her crying kids. With the hug I can no longer hold my tears anymore. I cry in Nozomi's hug like a little kids that fall on the road and hurt their knee. My makeup is a mess now but I could care less about that.

After a while, I finally calm down. Nozomi release her hug from me and look at me. _"You are strong Nicocchi. I know this is hard for you. But remember that we are always here for you okay."_ Nozomi consoling me. I nod my head. _"Thank you Nozomi."_

Eli enter the living room and call us to eat breakfast. She saw my face and she also try to console me like her girlfriend did. I felt slightly happy from having this wonderful friends that can console me when I really need it.

After we are done eating, Nozomi help me to put on my makeup back since the previous one is already ruin by my tears. Then we are good to go. We walk out from the apartment and I close the door behind me and lock it. I sit at the backseat of Eli's car. Eli drive us to that place. While in the car I keep looking outside of the mirror, try to keep myself calm. I don't bother to include myself in Eli and Nozomi's conversation, just staying in my own world. The nearer we are to that place, the more my heart thumping like crazy. I felt like I might get a heart attack. I grip my hand tightly, trying to ease myself.

After 15 minutes, we finally reach that place. Eli park her car in the parking lot. I slowly go out from the car. I look at the place in front of me, the building is big, and its crowded with people. I could see a lot of elite class people. Felt that I'm out of their league. Whatever. While I'm looking around I could hear someone calling my name. I look at the source of that voice and I could see Rin and Hanayo coming towards me.

Our μ's idol group members almost present, just left the trio childhood friends. Just when Nozomi is about to call Honoka's handphone, we could hear some commotion coming from behind of us. I look behind and saw the trio childhood walking towards us. It just Honoka saying that she is hungry and Umi is scolding her like usual. They never change, these girls. I make a small smile, somehow watching them acting like this sure make me miss our happy time when we are still in school. Our school idol group which consists of 9 members. I love being in the group. And... That's where I met that girl. That red haired tsundere girl, that stole my heart.

_"I guess everyone is already here right. Let's go inside." _Eli's voice snap me back to reality. We walk to the entrance and show our invitation cards to the guard. Then the guard say something about how we are going to sit in the VIP seat and lead us to that table. While I'm following them, I look around myself. The garden is huge, there's table and chair arranged all over the garden. We are being led by the guard to the very front table, near the mini stage. The table have 8 chairs, its like this is specially made for our idol group.

I sit on one of the chair like everyone else, settling myself down. I look at the stage, a sharp pain struck my heart.

**_'..It hurts..'_**

I try to make myself calm. Gripping my hand tightly once again, sucking all the pain that reside in my heart.

**_'I need to calm down.. Nico.. Be strong.. At least.. Till this ceremony finish..'_**

I console myself. Can't depend on others too much. While I'm busy calming myself down, the mc announce something. About the arrival of the bride. Upon hearing that, I felt like my heart being stab by a sword. I slowly raise my head, looking at the entrance of the garden, like everyone else. I saw her, the girl I love so dearly, in a white wedding gown, look more gorgeous than usual. Besides her is her father. My eyes are fix on that red haired girl.

**_'She's so beautiful..'_**

I continue to stare at her while she walk towards the stage slowly. For a moment there, our eyes meet. I could feel her pain from her looks.

I remember back at the time when she told me that she will be getting married with some surgeon at her family's hospital that her parents had arranged. At that time, we are still a couple. Upon hearing that, I could feel my heart being stab countless times by a sword. I put my hand on her shoulder, shaking her and ask, why did she accept that, why didn't she refuse them. My tears are already flowing. Maki's eyes are already red. She said that her parents especially her father is very strict. If she were to refuse, her father would cut all connection with her and make her suffer. At that time, I felt anger fill my heart. I said to her I want to see her parents, especially her father face to face. At first she didn't allow me to do that since she's afraid of what will happen but after I'm begging her, she let me go to her house, to see her parents.

I face her father, told him that me and her daughter are in a relationship and I ask him to stop the marriage. To my surprise, her father slap me on the cheeks, that action make me fall to the ground. He say that I'm not worth to be with her daughter. He already know her daughter's relationship with me and already did some background research on me. He insult me because I'm not from a rich family and that I'm just after Maki's wealth. I try to retaliate but her father already call some bodyguard to get rid of me. Maki try to stop her father but its no use. Her father slap Maki, upon seeing that, I'm getting more mad at him. I try to shake off the guard and that's when her father said to me. _"If you try to stop me, I will make you regret it for the rest of your lives. I can make your family become homeless with my power. And Maki, if you refuse my command, you know what I can do to your so called girlfriend's lives. I can make her suffer."_

Hearing that, I can't bring myself to stop him. My mother, my siblings, my home, I thought about them and I don't want them to suffer because of my selfishness. I look at Maki. I guess she also considering the fact about what can her father do to my lives if she were to refuse. Both of us give up, we just don't have the power to stop Maki's father. He is cruel, cruel enough to threaten us just so we listen to his command. I grip my hand tightly, suppressing my desire to punch him in the face. He told the guard to throw me out from the house. The guard forcefully brought me outside and push me till I fall to the ground. The guard close the door. I could hear Maki arguing with her father inside. I brought my hand to my cheeks, the throbbing pain still reside on that area. While I'm caressing my own face, the door of the mansion open. Maki run towards me. She kneel down and put her hand on my cheeks. She ask me whether that hurts or not. Of course it hurts a lot but I don't want to add anymore pain to her so I just said that I'm okay. I told her to just return inside since I'm afraid if her father will do more harm to her. She shook her head, saying that her father already enter his bedroom. She told me she will bring me home. I just nod my head, still in pain. After we reach my apartment, before I go out from the car, I caress her cheeks. She also getting slap just now so I want to make sure whether she still in pain or not. She said that she's okay, just her heart is in a lot of pain. When she said that it broke my heart into pieces. I lean towards her and kiss her. My thumb slowly caress her cheeks, trying to ease her pain. I could feel her tears flowing as she replying my kiss. Both of us cry. We broke our kiss and I hug her tightly. She do the same to me. I.. Really don't want to separate from her. But.. There's nothing I could do.

I snap back to reality when the mc announce that the bride and groom are going to have their kiss. My god how long have I space out. Didn't even hear their vows to each other. I look at the stage, the groom is about to kiss the bride. I quickly look to the other side. I.. Can't bear to see Maki-chan kissing other people than me. My tears are about to fall. Please.. just let this ceremony finish as soon as possible. I really want to go home. I can't hold my tears any longer. And then I heard crowd clapping, signaling the kiss-the-bride part already end. The mc announce that the crowd may start eating. I don't have anymore appetite. I told my group members that I want to go home. They understand me and just let me go. Eli offer herself to send me home but I refuse since I don't want to trouble her. I didn't even have strength to face Maki and say goodbye to her, so I just left that place and going home.

**_'I'm sorry Maki-chan..'_**

I don't know how I manage to return home with this unstable state of mind. I quickly enter my house, once I lock the door, my legs become wobbly. I fall on my knee. The tears that I had try very hard to suppress just now come out like rain. I cry to my heart content.

**_'She's not mine anymore..'_**


End file.
